Sunday, May 07, 2006

’Neath The Halo Of A Street Lamp

Yesterday, I stumbled across yet another testament of human stupidity. While on an out of town trip, I pulled over into the parking lot of a mini mall to stretch my legs. This particular series of four adjoining stores was about one hundred fifty feet in width and about forty feet deep. The parking lot for this establishment was roughly the same size, and was illuminated by one light pole in the center of the lot that contained two large lamps at the top. At a quick glance, the lighting fixture obviously had suffered a number of vehicle attacks because the battle scars and ill-shaped contour were quite noticeable ... even at night. At the base of the pole, the first three feet above the ground had been reinforced with a two foot thick pillar of concrete and painted yellow ... as to warn away any would-be attacking automobiles. But what really had me in stitches was the stenciled black painted lettering that wrapped around the entire circumference of the cement anchor that stated: "PLEASE DO NOT HIT THE POLE!" ... and the only way to read the message in its entirety, was to walk all the way around it. Apparently, the property owner has not only done extensive scientific research on how cars circle their prey before they attack, but also accounted for the direction of travel. I wonder if cars below the equator go the other way? Hmmmm ...


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