Monday, August 22, 2005

Profiling Patrons

A thought occurred to me the other day at the grocery store. You can tell a lot about a person by their actions at the supermarket. Let's begin with parking. See "Road Rage" post below, enough said. Now we enter the building to choose from a vast fleet of the proprietors finest chariots. (Of which, I ALWAYS get the one with the flappy wheel.) Here is where the observation really begins. Try to examine each person by their actions, interactions with other people, and decision making abilities. And then equate this to how people act in their personal lives. You may be surprised how a quick glimpse can provide such an in depth look at someone's behavior pattern. If you're not quite sure where to start, the meat cooler offers one of my personal favorite subjects to study. "The Wanderer" - One who looks and looks at the delicacies in front of them while slowly pacing up and down the never seemingly able to put their finger on exactly what they want. Be careful, this subject cause severe drowsiness if observed too long. "The Curator" - One who argues with the deli staff for half an hour over +/- 1/64th of an inch. Who cares how thin it is. Does it really matter? Honestly? This subject obviously lives in an environment where everything is perfect. If you were invited to this museum quality home, you would be forced to doff your filthy shoes and more than likely sit on clear plastic sofa covers. "The Miner" - One who digs in a Samsonite style purse at the checkout line for five minutes, never quite able to find whatever is needed. This individual has been observed talking to oneself, often at elevated levels, blaming the whole thing on either the past weeks experiences or the successors on the collapsible seat. Give your profiling skills a try, at least it makes the trip to the store more fun.


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