Getting The Pants Sued Off You

Topping the charts in the history of frivolous lawsuits, Roy L. Pearson (an administrative judge for the District of Columbia) is trying to take the cleaners ... well ... uh ... to the cleaners. In a 54 million dollar lawsuit, the judge is suing the small business for losing his pants. Apparently, the bulk of the case is hinging on the fact that signs that are posted on the premises of the cleaners that state "satisfaction guaranteed", and he feels as though his experience was less than satisfying. This could really open the flood gates nationally if this one goes through, I for one am now patiently waiting for any store than claims to be open 24/7 to close ... no matter what the reason. I can claim personal hardship and emotional trauma (oh, worth about 10 million ... I'm not greedy like some people) because I couldn't get my paws on a Red Bull at 3:52 a.m. due to the store being unexpectedly closed and not sending an amber alert to the public notifying them of this immediate yet temporary closure ... how dare they not notify the masses.