Saturday, July 08, 2006

Finally ... An Earworm Antidote

Everyday, millions of random people across the globe suffer from earworm. This musical parasite can strike from nowhere and causes the infected person to "have a song stuck in my head", sometimes for days at a time. Absolutely nobody is exempt from this bug regardless of their lifestyle, musical talent, personal background, or interests. The earworm is also completely random as to which little ditty will manifest itself in the person's brain, and can be triggered by any sensory perception at any time making diagnosis and possible quarantine extremely difficult to separate those who are possibly infected from those who may only be carriers. Those infected with full blown earworm will often seek the help of family, friends, and coworkers by informing them of the overbearing tune endlessly playing in their head, and request assistance figuring out how it may have have gotten there. This, unfortunately, is also the most contagious stage for this communicable disease because anyone within earshot is susceptible to catching it. But after speaking with many people who have been suffering the earworm condition for many years, a revolutionary breakthrough has been made. The earworm can only survive if it is the only repetitive audio clip first and foremost on your mind. By inserting another earworm immediately after the first, the lyrical stronghold is instantaneously released. After polling many people that have experienced multiple cases during a one year time frame, the most popular choice for immediate relief was the "By Mennen" jingle, although results may vary from person to person.


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