Sunday, October 21, 2007

An All New Meaning To Sleight-Of-Hand

Magician David Copperfield is in the FBI's crosshairs following an alleged rape charge. Agents searched a Las Vegas warehouse belonging to David Copperfield and a casino theater where the magician regularly performs. I find myself quite perplexed ... how can a man who can make an 747 disappear, cause the Statue of Liberty to vanish, float over the Grand Canyon, escape from Alcatraz and pass through the Great Wall of China simply not make this charge ... disappear?

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Like A Good Neighbor ...

A local woman made the national news circuit yesterday after being cited for disorderly conduct for swearing at her toilet. Dawn Herb of Scranton, PA faces up to 90 days in jail and a $300 fine if convicted of the offense after police responded to her residence, acting on the complaint of a neighbor who called them. Apparently the off duty police officer/neighbor (one in the same) Patrick Gilman was offended by the potty mouth woman whose toilet became backed-up and overheard her through an open window. And rather than offer assistance ... or even a plunger, he promptly phoned police and the woman was issued a citation. In this mornings paper, it was stated that the ACLU will be representing Dawn Herb fir her defense. Mary Catherine Roper, an attorney with the ACLU, had this to say; "This is an extreme example of the government trying to intrude into a place they have no business being, your bathroom and your home. You can prosecute somebody for bad language in Iran, this isn’t Iran." All this ... over a blocked crapper ... this ladies and gentlemen is why I love living in Scranton. You just can't buy this kind of entertainment anywhere else. Maybe NBC's "The Office" should do a episode on this one to really seal the deal on the show's Scranton authenticity.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Hands Free Communication Yields Thought Free Products

The other day, I purchased a bluetooth headset headset for my cell phone. I ultimately had no choice, I spend alot of time on the road and Pennsylvania has just passed a hands-free law that goes in to effect November 10, 2007. PA House Bill No. 1827 amends Title 75 of the Pennsylvania Consolidated Statues and was passed on September 11, 2007 and states that any person who is found to be in violation of this section commits a summary offense and
upon conviction, will be sentenced to pay a $50 fine. Anyway, my point is many bluetooth headsets come with a status indicator LED light to inform the user of things like battery life and if the unit is online or offline. Great idea ... if the person wearing the thing could actually see the light!!! Instead I guess I'm going to have to rely on the kindness of other motorists to yell over to me at a red traffic light to let me know my earpiece battery is about to die. The same people that drive right by a major motor vehicle crash because they "don't want to get involved" ... I should have sprung for the car charger too.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Jenny I've Got Your Number ... 25 Years Later

Today, I had an epiphany. I dialed 867-5309 and asked for Jenny. The man on the other end informed me that Jenny (shockingly) was not there, and then immediately told me he'd be sure to leave her a message that Tommy Tutone called. I love people that can take a joke.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Letter Carriers On Shooting Sprees ... Now I Know Why

Is anyone else completely aggravated with the USPS package shipping process? I ordered something over a week ago and the seller was happy to provide a "Label/Receipt number" issued by the USPS. The only problem is, the number is COMPLETELY useless! Whenever I check the status of the order, I get the same message "Delivery status information will be provided if / when available. Information, if available, is updated every evening. Please check again later." In the past, orders that have arrived via United States Postal Service have not shown delivered until a week after they got here. Now, I can't even get confirmation it left the shipper's location. The USPS is nothing more than an overpriced, motorized pony express subsidized for their inefficiency and incompetence by the taxpayers like you and I.

Sunday, October 07, 2007

Local On The 8's

Organizers of the Chicago Marathon scrubbed the race only four hours into it due to the 88 degree heat that plagued the city today. More than 300 contestants were treated in local hospitals for heat related ailments, and as of the writing one athlete died as a result of extreme temperature. Personally, I see absolutely no reason to run without purpose for 26.2 miles ... but I do understand there are some people out there that call this fun, and I do respect that. But rather than spend hours carb-loading the night before, perhaps that time would be better spent checking out the weather forecast and acting on it accordingly ... but that's just my opinion. Common sense here people ... we're (our bodies) just not designed to run 26.2 miles without physical and mental consequence. That's why our species has developed deductive reasoning and adaptation skills ... to adapt, improvise and overcome so we don't have to run 26.2 miles!

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Bush: If It's Not For Iraq, I'll Just Send It Back

In a massive push to override President Bush's veto of the program that would have doubled the number of children eligible for the State Children's Health Program, democrats really don't have to look any further for public support than simply publicizing the fact President Bush vetoed it. Although President Bush stated he shot down the bill because "it was a step toward federalizing medicine and inappropriately expanded the program beyond it's focus on helping poor children". None the less, resourceful democrats have implemented a plan B ... just in case regular citizens like you and I who oppose the President's veto suddenly find ourselves involved as the subject of "terrorist investigation" because we have an opinion other than the commander-in-chief's and no rights of privacy thanks to the Patriot Act. Plan B is to amend the bill to incorporate that all children that have participated in the Children's Health Program at any point, must serve a four year minimum term in the United States military as part of President Bush's "war for oil" program ... then it will pass without hesitation or budget constraint.

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Google THIS!

Has anyone else been noticing Google's stealthy acquisition of everything lately? I post on blogger ... now owned by Google. I generated a RSS feed through ... recently acquired by Google. I offer a free emailing of "Is It Me?" posts thought ... now operated by Google. Is anyone else fed up with being the victim of corporate mergers and takeovers (whether tangible or not)... I am!